my father died 24 years & 3 months ago, today.
for the first time ever, i ventured out to
the fort snelling national cemetery near the
minneapolis/st. paul airport yesterday afternoon.
it was a perfect fall day. peak color, the sun
was out, the sky was an electric blue and i was
determined to find his marker on my own.
you see, shortly after he died, the entire family
went out to his gravesite (i think on his birthday)
and for some strange reason we, collectively, could
not find it. i don't know why.
but that made such an impression on me that i
actually had a dream that he came in my mom's
front door laughing about the fact that he really
pulled one over on us...that he wasn't really dead.
i never went back. it's been 23 years.
every friday that i have a cancer family at the hilton
i drive by that cemetery and it just all caught up
with me~so before i headed to a client's house
yesterday for a shoot, i made the journey to the
marker where my dad was buried.
section "o", marker #1894. God lead me right to it
as if to say "make peace with your dad."
this is a very big place and every marker is the same
but as i walked the narrow width of the graves
counting up from 1847 or so, my smile got a little
bigger with each headstone. i finally arrived at #1894,
walked around front and with the warm sun at my
back and my shadow casting on his marker i said "hi dad."
the ground was just damp enough for me to have to sit
on my jacket, i was able to take it off cuz it was
so warm out...about 75. i sat there and studied the
inscription...joel johnson, my pastor, spoke one sunday
about 'how will you live "the dash" that comes between
the dates that you were alive'. although he has missed
so much, he made his mark on me. i'll miss him always.
i forgive him...turkey.
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